Nice to be known

Spend 15 years in one place and for sure you will be recognized. I'll miss that when we move. But then again, maybe it won't take that long to be recognized. We've only been in Sunnyvale for 3 years and we're "regulars" in lots of places.

Pho Saigon - Not only do they know our faces and kids, I think they know our order too.
Oakmont Produce - Checker tonight just said, "What, no kids tonight?"
Elegance Hair - When calling for an appt with Jimmy, I said, "Haircut for 2 boys" and he goes, "Oh yeah, I know who you are!"

But that doesn't quite rival recognizing servers in Chinese restaurants, even when they change restaurants. Or chatting it up with the owner (?) of the Los Altos Hunan Homes while running into her at a Chinese bookstore. It's one thing to recognize people around town when they are in their context, but to recognize them outside of context, it's almost like being an actual acquaintance. Or maybe finally Mr. Lee at Joy Luck San Mateo will recognize me (and give me a table without reservations?) without my dad in tow.

Maybe this is why Tom really would like a small town feel to wherever we move. A "downtown" would be nice. A sense of community, that for me, the same people will be there every time you go and for them, that I will keep going too. I hope that now with the consistency of kids and school, it won't take us 15 years to feel like we're really IN the community.

Small house = violent conditions

As I dream about the possibility of a bigger house on the East Coast, I am more aware of my irritation with a small living space. And irritation built of over time triggered by two young children breeds a lot of yelling and tantrums, by me! And while I don't want to just move to the place where we could get the biggest house (we want to consider community feel and Tom's potential commute), having seen some nice houses (especially in Andover and in the DC area) does make we wonder "what if" a lot, not just for a nicer house, but perhaps triggers for my temper.

• What if I had a full finished basement? Then the kids and their toys can primarily be down there. Then their toys won't be immediately in my path between kitchen and dining table while I carry a plate of hot dinner. Or the toy mess won't be the first thing I see when I enter the house. Or the kids can throw their softie balls without them flying onto the stove or into the sink. Or when they do get in their messy mood, I only see the aftermath instead of have to listen and get frustrated throughout the whole process. The kids might not use the hallway as their playroom as often as they do now (I think I've thrown enough tantrums that they've taken a break from "camping" in the hallway.)
  
• What if the bedrooms were a little more spread out? Then Tobey's head wouldn't literally be inches away from my head on the other side of a thin wall. I wouldn't feel like rolling over in my squeaky bed might wake him up (although Tobey's become a lot more of a solid sleeper over the years). I could walk through the hall on our squeaky wood floor without having to pass right by the kids' doors. We could flush our toilets at night and not worry that it will wake up the kids. Maybe Tobey's coughing won't wake up Eli a mere 15 ft. away, two doors down the hall.
  
• What if we had four bedrooms? Our sleeping arrangements won't be turned upside down when someone visits us (although finally Tobey and Eli can sleep well in the same room, that helped a lot). Maybe we could host more than just one of our family members at a time instead of some of them in a hotel. Maybe we could have a proper office space or dare I dream, a craft room? *Sigh*
• What if I had a bigger kitchen with a real pantry and desk space? More kitchen counter space means that when I clutter it, less of my actual food prep area is impacted and maybe I won't feel like a such a slob. I'd have the freedom to buy big flour and sugar jars and cook and bake with ease without feeling like I'm taking up counter space. Maybe our confiscated and broken toys as well as laptop and mail wouldn't take up such a significant piece of our counter. Maybe we'd have space under the counter for our garbage along with our reverse osmosis filter so that our trash doesn't have to sit on our counter. We could store our food items in a real pantry instead of going to our garage to get a can of soda.

The plus side of the small house. 1) Besides Alice, who seems to be supportive in my dream for a bigger house, everyone says bigger house means bigger house to clean. 2) I'm forced to purge belongings more. Holding a garage sale or donating is cathartic for me. If I can't see some good baseboard length in any given room, I get antsy and need to reorg or declutter. 3) Less square footage to heat or cool. 3) Think of all those teachable moments I've already given the kids from all the extra rules that comes from being in a small house.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful. And for sure I don't want Tom to ever think that he hasn't provided for us because at the time we bought, I felt very blessed that we could buy at Silicon Valley prices on one income at all. And I do still feel blessed because with his hard work we made our outdated house a little more stylish. And we also are in a nice neighborhood with nice neighbors that we actually know. I don't regret our purchase at all. We did the best we could at the time. I guess now I'm just dreaming of a little more.