Most of our friends whom we see regularly know that this week the boys and I are homeless. Our house is staged and it became clear very fast that it would be easier to keep them out of the house all day instead of try to live in a staged house. For the short time that we are home with thme (i.e., bedtime, getting dressed in the morning), they have not destroyed the house. But we cleaning up after every shower, bath, brushing of teeth and meal, with few toys and no TV/DVD is a hassle we chose to avoid. So I've been out 8:30AM-6PM with the kids, napping in the car, meeting Tom for dinner, showering at the Y. Not meaning to trivialize the plight of truly homeless people, we've been homeless, just basically sleeping and washing up at our homeless shelter, our nicely staged and pristine homeless shelter.
The first two days of this week were hard because Tobey didn't have school. It's much easier to mentally prepare 12-6PM than for 8:30-6. I now realize the comfort in routine, the sense of "home" and normalcy in routine. I was glad to have Tobey back in school, to go to the Y, to be able to eat lunch at our park. Ironically I saw our school friends on both Monday and Tuesday, but while seeing them is always fun, seeing them on our days off of school was out of routine. It was a little more comforting seeing them today in our usual routine.
The minivan has certainly become our little mobile home. We take our afternoon nap there (me too). The back of the minivan holds my gym bag, the kids' toiletries, our towels. While I haven't yet just parked the van somewhere and let the kids kill some time putzing around in the van, because it's a van, I find some comfort that I could do it if I really needed to. A sedan is a form of transportation. The minivan is a second home.
We've certainly found our friends' houses home. We've gotten many a welcome from friends saying we can just hang out at their house this week, whether or not they are home. I haven't taken up every offer because we need to lean on our friends so much during this time that if I can suck it up and survive, I'll try. But I did take up one offer yesterday from Sharlene since it was a long non-school day. It was great to have a safe place to let the kids be free. It was great to just sit at a kitchen counter and chat. Sharlene was even gracious enough to let the boys take their baths at her house (and me too, but I only took the offer up for the boys). I may have to rethink naps in the car though because Eli's got a diaper rash that is hard to get rid of when he sits in his diaper while napping. I may need to take up Eileen on her nap offer.
I've also taken refuge at the YMCA. So far this week I've been to the Y not to work out but just to shower. Today I'm really taking advantage of the 90 min. childcare per day rule -- I brought Eli in for 35 min. this morning to shower, and now I'm back using the balance on both kids right now to get a little writing time before dinner. Even the childcare woman said, Eli's back? But without going through the whole story, I just sheepishly said, yeah.
I'm also starting to learn that home is in our family, regardless of where we have a house. Although Sharlene generously offered to feed us dinner while her kids had dinner, I didn't need to, because we got to meet Tom after 6 for dinner out as a family. When we conferenced with Tobey's teachers yesterday about his progress in preschool, I wondered if some of his recent mellowing out at school has something to do with the changing status of our home. It's going to be a lot like that in the coming months, especially with our x-country drive, a month of guest quarters, probably a rental home and hopefully soon, a permanent home. With all this change, wandering and improvisation to find a sense of home, I hope that the four of us find a strong sense of home in each other.
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