Almost here, last night sleeping at home

No, I don't really have time to blog. But it's such a mix of emotions at T minus 4 days and counting that blogging later really wouldn't really capture the moment.

We're halfway between in and out of here. The moving vans come tomorrow, first to pack and then the next day to load. I had a good day of packing today and have concluded that although stressed for the last week, it was a bit hard to pack our essentials any earlier than the very last moment. It's still a little hard to see how we're going to make it to Saturday, to see over that humongous pile of stuff in our garage. But somehow it will get done.

Saying goodbye has been emotional. Ironically, I haven't cried at any of our many going away get togethers (I almost did when Thomas and Kevin both said a little something at the growth/couples group party). And thank God no one asked for "Speech! Speech! Speech!" Our going aways have been mostly festive and happy, but with a looming hint of sadness that this was the last time we'd see our friends here as locals. It was strange to be completely comfortable at each party, looking around and knowing everyone, then realizing that the party was for us, that we were actually the guests of honor, that people were potlucking or chipping in, spending their evening and their efforts, just for us. Kind of like at our wedding, sitting there looking around and seeing all of our friends together to wish us well. And each time Tom and I drive away from said going away party, we say to each other, "Wow, that was sad [to have to leave them]." We sugar coated all of our goodbyes with "Visit us in Boston!" or "We'll be back to visit!". But I'm sure both they and we know that it will be a little different when we next meet, one of us being a visitor.

Saturday after saying bye to growth group and couples group, I realized that with this move and these goodbyes, there's a lot of love that I have for our friends here. I had a fleeting thought of "Are we crazy to leave all this?" But I have to remember that we do believe there's a lot of good things in store for us in Boston, including reconnecting with old friends and making new ones -- it will take a while but I do believe it will come. God has made this move too smooth for me to doubt that he would not take care of us in Boston. It's just that we don't know what's in store for us just yet and so it's easy to think we're losing a lot without gaining anything for now. And I'm definitely in denial, trying not to really say goodbye to some of our closest friends, thinking we'll still see them before we leave. It's really that it will be difficult to say goodbye.

Tonight is our last night sleeping in the house. We'll be back to babysit the movers and to let the kids see the truck and see some of our things go in it. (And since Tobey is so into the process of how things work, I feel like we have to show him what's going on at home while my parents keep them occupied outside of the house.) We'll be back to say goodbye to the rooms and our beloved play structure. But it is the beginning of the end. Hard to believe.